Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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