I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
please come you make the beer taste better
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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