honey bunches of taint.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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