her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
where does the pee come out of this thing
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
How naked do you want me to be?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
