I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize