I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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