I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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