hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize