But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
