there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
