Its about making memories worth repressing
Even the bartender felt bad for me
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
