so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
