I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Randomize
