the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
