If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I want to stick my p in your. b.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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