I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
