maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Even my vagina gasped.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
