youre lurking in front of me
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize