Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
