I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
