only if we run a train.
done.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
