another moral hangover. fuck.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
