so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize