a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
