Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Randomize
