i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
