So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
