I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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