Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
tequila makes me forget i have legs
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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