Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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