So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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