He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
