I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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