Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
