god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
