Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
