i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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