I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
