we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
