Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
