the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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