I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
