South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
should my penis look like a turkey
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Randomize