Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
