wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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