Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
