it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
