she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
