The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
home. puking in laundry basket.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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