i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
