Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
id be glad to
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
