Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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