New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
