Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
