I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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