You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
