Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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