I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
