Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
