They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
